Parenting an “Introvert”

March 7, 2023March 7, 2023trinimomindmiddle 2 Comments

(who had to vet this blog post before I published it hence being very true to her nature, because ah couldnt write any and everything for fear of judgement)

Last month my second gremlin came to me and told me that she was thinking of joining the March Past team for her school sports day. Naturally me being the cool mom that I am, told her that it was a great idea and if she felt she wanted to do it to go through. She had questions about it and I recounted as much as I could from my days when I was vice-captain of my house in school where sports day is SERIOUS BUSINESS and the related atmosphere paralyzed my alma mater for months. She appreciated it and felt more comfortable (ah think) however as soon as she was out of earshot I immediately called her father because ah was in d middle of convulsing under my #coolmom demeanour.

Her query, quite frankly, hit me for six because I would have NEVER pegged that child to actively participate in such an activity. Like her father I was confused yet extremely excited because chief among our concerns for her as a teen who started secondary school online Anno Covidi, was her ability to genuinely connect with other students at her school when they finally met in person. Now she interacts well with classmates when she wants to (if she has to) but she is not part of a clique or a crew and has found some measure of comfort in riding solo until she gets back home to link up with her primary school friends in the Roblox realm. (Plus she give me stories about classmates eh and some ah dem I really doh want her to mingle wid anyhow. Dey bad behaved and speedinggg).

I have never been a popular girl in school and certainly didn’t have the world of friends although I was just cool with everyone. I am part of the secondary school ecosystem though so I know there are things I didn’t want her to go through especially as the pandemic made it a million times harder. She stays in her lane though and it has been a learning process for me as her mother even while she navigates her own territory. I have had to teach myself to be gentler with her while she understands herself, to praise her uniqueness and to encourage all the ways she expresses herself. (Sis could stand to be a lil less sarcastic and deadpan though eh, is like both Daria and Wednesday living under my roof with Aubrey Plaza on speed dial).

Wrapped up in all this is the need to respect her privacy as well and take the stories as she gives them in doses. I don’t needle her with questions if I don’t need to because I know eventually she tells me what is on her mind even if it is at a time where I dog-tired and my bed calling (why these teens wanna have these random, profound, revelatory chats at late hours when mankind ready to go in dey bed is beyond me) but I do it nonetheless.

All this to say if you parent a child who under all the modern consciousness is labelled an introvert, know who your child is and don’t wish them to be anything you consider “easier” for you (or your ego). My gremlin challenges me to be a better mother as I parent her differently from her elder brother. One thing though is that even while you can predict their likes and reactions, there is always that one ball from out of left field that always keeps the thing interesting (not to mention her marching left-right-left while complaining about the hot sun, tirelessly learning dance formations and executing the routine so superbly that it went viral on social media in Trinidad and Tobago, made me so damn proud of her in a ~~cool~~ dance mom kinda way, vicious pride included).

Blessings!

TMIDM

Joy in Expectation (Blogmas#2)

December 5, 2021December 22, 2021trinimomindmiddle 3 Comments

As much as I say I am scaling down on Christmas because of the current global situation and all its pancreatic* glory, I find myself, not doing the most but considering myself having ‘band meh belly’ so hard throughout the year, that I think I deserve a little niceness. The thing is, all my niceness is not centred on clothes or shoes or makeup or anything personal for myself (except my Keurig coffee machine because dat is life!) but centred on the upkeep of my home. I think my brain figures that since we are likely to be home-bound for the foreseeable future, I might as well spend my coins and upgrade my home space to further my comfort. (My brain also needed a distraction via a new project because it’s not like if I don’t have enough on my plate). Home upgrades are tedious, a bit frustrating but overall very exciting (who doesn’t love a makeover?).

For as long as I know myself I have always enjoyed looking forward to something fun and ‘new’. Christmas will always remain my favourite holiday largely because of the advent of Christ and the spiritual and literal preparation for this: new paint smell, new linens, new decor, new sights, new feelings….the only old (classic) things I treasure at this time are the movies, music, memories. Ah love eet!

Now I appreciate that there are many who will not feel this way particularly those who are just not into Christmas and especially those who have suffered loss and therefore the whole season becomes one of only painful reminders. My advent prayers always include comfort for those who suffer at this time that they find the grace to rally through🙏🏾.

During this season of preparation and expectation be sure to take some time to find your joy that lies in the process, whatever it may be to you. There is some to be found somewhere in the mix man. Seek it out!

So where are you on the spectrum? Lemme know nah. Let’s meet in the comments!

Bless

TMIDM

*pandemic

Seven whole years

April 13, 2021trinimomindmiddle 8 Comments

Do you know what today is? It’s my bloggerversaryyyy! (*Cue Babyface singing in the background, if we can’t book him cue marching band and confetti….and dancing.)

Today April 13^th 2021 makes it seven whole calendar years since I have been a blogger and since culturally, historically numerically, biblically and psychologically the number 7 signifies completeness, it is clearly something to celebrate.

In 2014 when I decided to take the leap and enter the world of online blogging, I did so with a huge dose of trepidation (ah did frighten bad!). I wanted to write a different kind of ‘mom blog’ than the usual template focused sharing tips, tricks or hacks to becoming a ‘better mom’. I wanted to provide a view that is uniquely Trinidadian and even more uniquely me. Would people ‘get’ my style of writing? Would I write content that people would be willing to engage with? Would I get enough of a following to engage with people in the first place or would I just be writing for writing sake? How much of myself would I be willing to share publicly? All of these questions I grappled with at the start but at the end of the day I just decided to start. MANY times (plentyyyyyy times!) I fell off the wagon simply because I didn’t care much for my voice and it seemed like it didn’t resonate. I didn’t really struggle for content as I had lots to express, just never the time (or the will) to sit and get it out and as such my posting used to be sporadic AF. Covid changed that for me.

Last year during the drollness of virtual teaching, I put a lot of focus on what will bring me joy as I navigated the effects of the pandemic on my sanity. I decided I needed to get back to one of the things I love with the intention of writing more and writing consistently. I got a logo created, revamped my blog page for this purpose and strengthened my social media connections to share myself with a wider audience. With another dose of trepidation, I created an Instagram profile to help me get my content out there and honestly, to engage with more people to escape the feeling that I was writing into a void. I’m glad I swallowed and took that leap because it really took it up a notch for me in terms of feeling more comfortable and more confident in sharing myself and what I write.

So what have I learnt over these seven years of blogging? A lot, but these four stick out:

1. Write what you want to write and not what you think people would want you to write. Don’t lose your voice because it is what inspired you to write in the first place. It is the thing that sets you apart and makes you unique. I have had many moments of “should I say that?” and “I hope people get that” but no matter how much times I backspace, it always ends up being expressed as I want it.

2. Make blogging part of your routine. I used to think that blogging was something I did on the side like a hobby I got into when I was bored. While it may have started off like that, I now consider it as something that is a part of me, so I am this, that, the third and a blogger. Blogging is something that I do just like educating the nation’s teenaged humans or feeding the gremlinz three times a day (and ensuring that there are multiple snacks because apparently a thrice a day feeding is never enough).

3. Don’t force the inspiration to write. Yes, you will not feel like writing and yes that is ok but there are other ways that you may be inspired to show up. Instagram really helped with that ( and more recently Tik Tok which is another strange beast by itself that is fun to wrangle). Social media does help with consistency though as sometimes inspiration for a post will hit me in the bathroom based on some nugget of discussion had earlier.

4. Don’t be too obsessed with the numbers. It is perfectly natural to check your stats and insights to see your engagement, as a matter of fact it is very important. The trouble lies when you monitor the bars every day, three times a day and the length of the bars drives your emotional state. There is a saying that goes “watch food doh cook good” which essentially means to do like that Disney princess who unleashes herself in a frozen tundra…..

I was there in the earlies, thank God I wised up and I have been enjoying blogging for what it is.

So Happy 7-year Anniversary to me! I’m so excited for the plans to make Trini Mom in the Middle into the juggernaut I want it to be so keep dem fingers crossed! I hope today sets off years and years of future blogging from my neck of the woods (and if you’re still not sure, I’m over here). Thanks to all of those who supported me, who advised me and who inspired me.

Thank you for being here, I really appreciate your presence, your shares and your comments when you can. If you haven’t as yet, firstly please feel freeeee to scroll down and click follow below this post and secondly check out my social media handles below, it’s freeeee and you get nothing short of seventy times seven more years of my supreme eloquence, greatness and of course, email notifications when ah post😁

Here I am on

Facebook: www.facebook.com/trinimomindmiddle

Instagram: instagram.com/trinimom_indmiddle

Tik Tok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeuJeoeH/

Cheers and Blessings!

TMIDM