It is only Tuesday…

This wasn’t my next planned post but when the inspiration hits….

Now have you ever seen this viral moment?

#diddystaredown

Picture me as Diddy and #gremlin3 as Elijah Connor (complete with the naughty grin) in the ultimate staredown this morning over the word RAT. Watch it again.

Of the short list of three-letter phonic words that good old Nelson set up for us to go through today, RAT was the last word and I was determined that we finish with a flourish. It was already set up like a root canal appointment going through the list in the first place because he had guava jam for breakfast (a grave error, the buzz was growing) and I low-key needed him to just pronounce and say the damn word so I could tick off my own productivity list and move on with my breakfast. My Hong Wing, Crix and zaboca was waiting.

Not my images but name a more satisfying trio….I’ll wait

I prayed silently for the return of his teacher who was unfortunately called away from virtual reading this morning. I prayed even more fervently for COVID-19 to ROLL TF BACK because ah cyah take this no more and he needs his little playmates to keep him company so they could all be crazy four year olds together. Selling dreams…..

Now there is an opinion held by many that parents think that teachers are babysitters and they (the parents) are willing to shove their offspring into the teachers’ hands and take off like a rotating shift. I’m a parent and a teacher and I am here to admit that this is partially true. I say partially because as a parent I know what I drill into the gremlinz in order to make the teacher’s shift easier and I recognize and appreciate its necessity (take these chirren please! #ahbeg). At the same time, I also am fully aware of when it is my turn to pick up shift and sadly, A LOT of parents are ignorant of this and if they do know, they simply do not care.

#gremlin2 and I butted heads extensively when she was doing the SEA exam last year simply because she was more amenable to her teacher’s style. Now there is nothing wrong with that, I’m fully aware of the dynamic. Even when she was very much younger my words couldn’t hold a flame to what “Miss say!” At the end of the day, Miss will reach her where I could not. With #gremlin3 it’s a little of the same except instead of protesting, at times he just looks at me like I talking madness and switches the conversation to bullfrogs and giraffes (the latter has “looooooong necks” in case you didn’t know, just passing on the knowledge because it is something I am reminded of by him every…glorious…day).

Now if there are purists reading this wondering why I didn’t tie in RAT to his love for animals, I tried, and I was swiftly met with a look of disdain and the reply, “Mummy, rats don’t live in the jungle”. So there you go. My petty gland raised and I was about to respond with the factoid that giraffes ACTUALLY live in savannahs but I’m not one to crush a four year old’s dreams today and besides it would have been #diddystaredown all over again. (See above).

Sigh, carry on smartly. It is only Tuesday. When school opening? Stupid Covid. Steups. Sigh.

Blessings

TMIDM

Mother’s Day V.2020

This Mother’s Day sure hits different.

I had NO idea Mother’s Day was today, only coming to this realization on Friday gone. I saw all the marketing on tv and social media but I just thought they were getting it in early to recoup Corona losses. I did wonder why my Boyo’s teacher was pushing us to do Mother’s Day craft with a silent expression of “I done getting right fed up of this Zoom thing every week, this woman doh know Mother’s Day is next week, wham tuh she boy?”🙄. That was a low day.😔

I don’t usually hold high expectations on Mother’s Day and I’m still not 100% sold on it. I suppose I’ve gotten used to it being like every other normal non-celebratory Sunday in my household and worse yet this year because of the ’rona? Out of sight, completely out of mind. I’m already grieving the losses that this ghetto AF 2020 has brought thus far: goals, extra finances, travel, some mental stability, my gremlinz being away from me at a certain point in the day (i.e. school) so I could breathe, exams that are on time and the ability to have the option to buy food. (If I get started on how fed up I am of cooking 1: I may sound ungrateful and insensitive and 2: I may not stop typing). Mother’s Day was nowhere near the radar.🤷🏾‍♀️

But thank God we’ve reached another year albeit ghetto AF.

I would be remiss if I didn’t say that this Covid 19 period has put my motherhood on coals as I try to keep it moving and at the same time keep it cool with my gremlinz. It is truly a delicate balancing act trying to keep some semblance of structure and routine and at the same time carefully manage emotions including my own. Some days have definitely been better than others. There are days when we are locked into the schoolwork, chores, lunch, playtime schedule. There are days when I let them watch tv all day, eat crap and bathe when they feel like it. A happy medium? Who knows but it works for me.😉

I can’t even begin to talk about the reaction to the Coronavirus in Trinidad and Tobago where it pertains to Education. Parents are berating teachers for not teaching their children anything (as though the word ‘parenting’ has ZERO inclusion of ‘teaching’ in any form or fashion) and teachers are complaining and complaining and complaining about not having enough, not being able to do enough and not being appreciated enough (just do what you can and no more and move on please). Some comments make me want to pelt my phone but my phone can be my lifeline, so I’ve perfected the art of the quick glance and scroll plus, mental stability and all that.

So on the point of mental stability, I hope all the mothers and the ‘mothers’ out there get what they want and do what they want on this solitary day for the very least. As usual I offer up those who have lost their mothers and those who have lost children, love and light to you all. For whatever it is worth to you, Happy Mother’s Day! Peace, love and blessings!!❤🌺🙏🏾

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TMIDM

About Grandparents

Grandparents are strange creatures.

I say this purely from a perspective of observing them in my role as the bridge between them and the grandchildren and when I say strange I mean howww is this sharp 180 possible from you being one type of human as my parent to being another type of human as my child’s grandparent? I continue to ponder…

Image result for if i knew grandchildren were this much fun

Years ago when I heard the above quote on a tv show I laughed at the humour in it. Little did I realize later on in life when I created the grandchildren, that the joke was actually on me because grandparents mean every single word of it. Hurtful.

The following is a list of related scenarios, some happened to me, some happened to other parents like myself who are also in this midway twilight zone wondering ‘but what it is really going on here?’

  1. The grandchild comes home with B’s on the report book to which the grandparent replies “don’t come do so hard on him/her. B’s are good and you are frustrating the child”. Meanwhile you cast your memory back to your own childhood filled with fond memories of crying because you can’t remember 7×8 (to this day), anxiously memorizing spelling words and threats of A’s or else……
  2. As is custom with Caribbean parenting, you give the child a dose of punishment, to which the grandparent responds that you are being wickeddd to the grandchild or my personal favourite “I don’t like to hear him cry”. Meanwhile you have lived to tell stories of belts, pot spoons, ‘cocoyea broom flex’, guava whips, rolling pins, slippers, broomsticks etc.
  3. The grandparent remarks that the grandchild is soooo skinny and proceeds to feed the grandchild according to their set standard. This leaves you to wonder how a boiled egg could be swallowed ravenously in front of a grandparent but mashed and scattered in your own living room by the same human being.
  4. Relatedly, this set standard includes even after you have fed the grandchildren and any of the times in between that they feel they should eat reminding you that breakfast, lunch and dinner and ‘nothing in the interim’ was meant specifically for you.
  5. Again relatedly, you the parent give said grandchild a snack and are met with admonition about not feeding the grandchild properly, “in my days we used to eat yam and eddoes!!!” and that he/she is soooo skinny. Yet when you go in the grandparents’ kitchen, there is a cupboard or drawer filled to the max with every treat imaginable wrapped in cellophane paper which most certainly did not exist when you grew up in that house. Even if it did, the fear of taking (or even asking) for said snack was enough to have your ears ringing.

    Screenshot (17)

    instagram.com/mightyapejunior

  6. Grandparents lifting up full 5-year olds up a flight of stairs, while hold a bookbag and lunchkit while you the parent watch and remember the command “Walk up please!” while trudging behind them as a child.
  7. The grandchildren have attained the school age of three and the grandparents casting doubt if they are ready already for school because school is ‘stressful’ and they will be ‘tired’. “I thought about grandbaby in school and if you only know how my heart grieve me”….GRIEVE yuh say yunno!!!! For sending him/her to school??? Your own childhood memories come flooding back again…..
  8. Seeing grandparents magically and eagerly appear at the front gate, driveway or gallery as though to rescue the grandchildren from your hostage care.
  9. Grandchildren being allowed to run around and make noise because who must be seen and not heard? Leave dem…
  10. Clothes that grandchildren wear must be perfectly fit. Anything like a half size up or down in shoes etc must be returned for a proper pair or kept so they’ll grow into it and even as you wait for the growing, two or more proper pairs will be bought. Meanwhile some of you parents wore shoes stuffed or pants tightly belted until you could fill it out.

Did you read any of these and say to yourself ‘Yessss” or “Preachhhh”? The contrast is glaring and some things are indeed very funny while others are cold blooded man! Like where was this side of you when I was growing up?!?!

I suppose it’s a case of who feels it knows it and I know that there may be other deeper matters related to insecurities and self-confidence, change in society and wisdom that comes with age and all that but I’m keeping it light for now.

In the meantime, I continue to be flabbergasted by the strangeness of the grandparents. Are you?
Blessings

TMIDM