Swimming in the S.E.A. (Part 6) – What de ass??

When I heard about Covid case #139 who caused two Pennywise outlets and a bank to shut down operations, my response was “What de ass?!? You couldn’t keep your tail home?! Ah whole week you sick and you moving normal, normal infecting people?!?”. I then heard about about the patient who was a minor, the child of a bank worker who caused another bank to shut down, rumour is the employee brought the child to work……what de ass??😳. Now today Trinidad has five more Covid cases, one of which is a child, an S.E.A. student whose parents sent him or her for THREE days KNOWING that this child was sick and had members in the family who were also sick😡😡😡

Context below:

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S MINISTRY OF HEALTH PRESS BRIEFING

Chief Medical Officer Dr. Roshan Parasram: five latest COVID-19 cases are primary contacts of case #142.

  • 3 children among those 5 cases.
  • One child attended the Maraval RC school.
  • Pupils and staff at school to go into quarantine.

A sick child that was sent to school (for SEA prep) could now potentially affect 90 primary contacts and 200 secondary contacts.
All have now been placed on 14 day quarantine. (Express)

Dr. Parasram: If they had followed the guidelines which is to stay home when you are sick we would not be looking at 300 potential contacts.

I’ll say it for Dr. Parasram, WHAT DE ENTIRE ASS?!?!?

Now I am readily admitting that I am one of those parents who was relieved to hear that the exam was on August 20th with recap classes starting on July 20th. She needed collaborative space even with the social distancing and I was comfortable enough with her school’s (i.e. principal’s and teacher’s) Covid preventative measures. Again, I was ready for her just to do this stupid exam, get over with it and move on with her life. I may have mentioned this already……many times…….Notwithstanding, I also completely understood the argument against this position and the view by other parents to keep their children at home because…….you know Covid-19.

That being said….

What de ass you doing sending your child to school when you know fully well Covid running rampant in your household??????

What de ass is your excuse for being so damn selfish, not giving a shit about your child infecting other children AND teachers and OBVIOUSLY causing the school to shut down and create more anxiety and trauma for these poor children who have already been through it for the year?!?

What de ass people blaming teachers and principals for? For not ‘figuring out’ the child was sick and sending the child home? School administrators and educators are psychics? Doctors? Nurses? Healers? Mindbenders? Oracles? Witchdoctors? Telepaths? Obeahmen? Why don’t our nationals who are quick to cast aspersions HOLD THEIR ELECTED OFFICIALS AND MINISTRIES ACCOUNTABLE for providing everything schools need to function ADEQUATELY?! Schools are running on fumes, raffles and donation sheets which the same school officials have to sort out for themselves by begging.

I can’t with this nonsense😒.

My nerves have been on edge as Covid local spread is being reported on daily basis and I have to reset my mental to begin to accept that Dr. KCR* may send his wayward children back into timeout because of bad behaviour. This I am absolutely NOT prepared for. However, I also have to forget that and pay attention to my daughter’s mental especially with the real possibility that the ‘summer school’ may be affected, the exam may be affected and there is no certainty with our current reality.

However in the middle of this assness, the show must go on. When I’m done, I expect a stage to thank the academy for the performance that is worthy of a statue.

Blessings

TMIDM

*Dr. Keith Christopher Rowley, Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago

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Swimming in the S.E.A (Treading Water)

When I wake up in the morning like many people, I usually take the time to pray and meditate before I jump start my day. This morning is different in that my mind is focused solely on my daughter. My emotions are all over the place and I’m finding it hard to clear my head and focus. You see today would have been the S.E.A. exam, the high-stakes test which would have defined my daughter’s graduation from one stage of her life to the next. She’s not alone. This morning approximately 19,000 children in Trinidad and Tobago are feeling a mix of emotions from relief to uncertainty to frustration to bewilderment.

Like many of the 19,000 parents and guardians I had plans. I was going to take the day off today, make sure she eats properly, do a sing-a-long car ride, pray with her before she went in and assure her that she got it in the bag, pray while the exam was going on, give her a big hug when she finished (and probably cry knowing that the months of hard work had finally led us to the end), eat at her favourite restaurant, laugh and play somewhere and then whisk her away to Tobago tomorrow for a mummy-daughter R&R weekend. Then COVID-19 pulled through and said you will do NONE of those things on this Thursday April 2nd 2020 Anno Domini.

This morning even as I type this, I consider life, control, plans and routine. Since the ‘Rona the routine has been to continue working (with reduced time) even though we do not know when the exam is going to be. This in itself is frustration (ask any hamster in a wheel) as my daughter was already getting tired of the constant drilling of Mathematics, Language Arts and Creative Writing and if you know anything about the Trinidad and Tobago education system you know that it is considers examinations first and education second. She was ready to move on with her life and had her heart set on a secondary school which offered a range of exciting things to study creatively beyond those three subjects. I’m torn as I know the appearance of the Coronavirus is completely out of our control (although the spread is). I understand that in life things happen that veer us completely off course from the path we are trodding. I understand and accept the adage: a man plans while God laughs. I get that while my mind does the Dr. Strange thing and anticipates all the million possibilities, there may be one I will miss which may be beyond my control. However, my humanity and my role as a mother makes me feel at this particular point in time that it is not fair.

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I think I should be allowed to feel that way for a bit even while pulling up my big girl panties and while encouraging my daughter to do the same. A brief scan of my social media this morning revealed posts with the general themes of  ‘today was supposed to be the day’, ‘grateful for life, some people didn’t live to see today’, ‘SEA not important in the grand scheme of things’ and ‘this too shall pass’. All of these emotions are important and necessary and I suppose designed to bring comfort and support during these strange-ass times but depending on how I feel I will pick one and then maybe revert to the next after all, I am human. My faith is hugely based on God being in total control, but God also made me human with a range of emotions that I am allowed to feel even while trusting Him to do what he has to do. He did the same with my daughter.

When she wakes up, I plan to gauge how she feels. I know like me she’s going to be unable to pinpoint an exact emotion, her head may be telling her one thing and her heart may be telling her the next and I know I shouldn’t force her one way or the next as today may be difficult.  The best I can do I suppose is to let her know that sometimes in life the ship can sail smoothly from one destination to the next. Other times it can take in water, you may make it to the shore, or you may be forced overboard but you have to keep treading even if you cry. It’s a very, very tiresome thing but it keeps you alive and that’s all that matters.

Corona Thoughts

While in COVID-19 self isolation this evening I slipped into a funk. I spent a shorter time than usual on social media today but this evening I saw a post being shared. It was an amendment to the Public Health Ordinance here in Trinidad and Tobago forbidding public congregation until the 31st of July.

Screenshot_20200319-204716_Word Admittedly at first I was amused in the sense of ‘look at where we reach because Trinis too harden* and can’t do what they’re supposed to do!’ Then I considered how many times I sat to eat or drink in a public space: the mall food court, KFC, TGIFridays, Eddie Hart grounds, the doubles man…to think that this is now an illegal offence is troubling. It’s as though that move concretized the whole thing for me (and it didn’t help that I just finished season 3 of the Handmaid’s Tale).

We are really in a crisis. This is a state of limbo which I hate like most states of limbo. My brain works itself into overdrive. When I considered the amount of money people would lose in this singular industry, particularly people with children, even children in exam classes, it prompted deep thought and a deep shift in perspective for me. Negative vibes came out to play.

So when I feel a hint of anxiety which has the possibility of increasing, in order to ground myself and keep it in check, one of the things I do is to read random stuff (real random things eh like anyone who saw my Google history would probably write me a referral to a special place)😔. I happened upon this article which made the spirit settle a bit and I’m sharing it here so maybe it can help ground someone else. Sometimes you have to see things as they are rather than what your well-intentioned visions were, reality may be easier to accept. I’m working on it.

Read it here⬇️

Psychology Today

Blessings to you

TMIDM

*harden=stubborn