Parenting an “Introvert”

(who had to vet this blog post before I published it hence being very true to her nature, because ah couldnt write any and everything for fear of judgement)

Last month my second gremlin came to me and told me that she was thinking of joining the March Past team for her school sports day. Naturally me being the cool mom that I am, told her that it was a great idea and if she felt she wanted to do it to go through. She had questions about it and I recounted as much as I could from my days when I was vice-captain of my house in school where sports day is SERIOUS BUSINESS and the related atmosphere paralyzed my alma mater for months. She appreciated it and felt more comfortable (ah think) however as soon as she was out of earshot I immediately called her father because ah was in d middle of convulsing under my #coolmom demeanour.

Lawd have merherseee

Her query, quite frankly, hit me for six because I would have NEVER pegged that child to actively participate in such an activity. Like her father I was confused yet extremely excited because chief among our concerns for her as a teen who started secondary school online Anno Covidi, was her ability to genuinely connect with other students at her school when they finally met in person. Now she interacts well with classmates when she wants to (if she has to) but she is not part of a clique or a crew and has found some measure of comfort in riding solo until she gets back home to link up with her primary school friends in the Roblox realm. (Plus she give me stories about classmates eh and some ah dem I really doh want her to mingle wid anyhow. Dey bad behaved and speedinggg).

I have never been a popular girl in school and certainly didn’t have the world of friends although I was just cool with everyone. I am part of the secondary school ecosystem though so I know there are things I didn’t want her to go through especially as the pandemic made it a million times harder. She stays in her lane though and it has been a learning process for me as her mother even while she navigates her own territory. I have had to teach myself to be gentler with her while she understands herself, to praise her uniqueness and to encourage all the ways she expresses herself. (Sis could stand to be a lil less sarcastic and deadpan though eh, is like both Daria and Wednesday living under my roof with Aubrey Plaza on speed dial).

Wrapped up in all this is the need to respect her privacy as well and take the stories as she gives them in doses. I don’t needle her with questions if I don’t need to because I know eventually she tells me what is on her mind even if it is at a time where I dog-tired and my bed calling (why these teens wanna have these random, profound, revelatory chats at late hours when mankind ready to go in dey bed is beyond me) but I do it nonetheless.

All this to say if you parent a child who under all the modern consciousness is labelled an introvert, know who your child is and don’t wish them to be anything you consider “easier” for you (or your ego). My gremlin challenges me to be a better mother as I parent her differently from her elder brother. One thing though is that even while you can predict their likes and reactions, there is always that one ball from out of left field that always keeps the thing interesting (not to mention her marching left-right-left while complaining about the hot sun, tirelessly learning dance formations and executing the routine so superbly that it went viral on social media in Trinidad and Tobago, made me so damn proud of her in a cool dance mom kinda way, vicious pride included).




Advent Calendar things (Blogmas#1)

Mawnin, mawnin! Welcome back to my Blogmas 2021!

When I was considering taking up the Blogmas challenge I knew instantly that I would not have been able to do 24 straight days. That would have been a recipe for failure before I even began properly. I applaud those who can and I’m good with twelve days but it did get me thinking about countdowns and specifically Advent Calendars.

Now I am Catholic so the depth of the meaning of Advent is not foreign to me, however like everything else on this planet this ‘waiting’ period has been subjected to a glorious measure of commercialization which I can’t argue with, such is life, ah so it go. I feel like this year kept up the 2020 energy so much that I don’t blame mankind for looking forward to anything that brings some measure of joy (in the ordinary or extraordinary) while we keep floundering through this panettone*.

Now for Christmas this year I am adamant about two things:

  1. EYE MUSTTTTT finish ‘put away’** early even if I have to put in overtime. This Christmas prep down to the wire thing is not cutting it anymore (then when the 25th reach you feeling drained and wondering if all ah dat was for one day).
  2. EYE MUSTTTT not wait for December 25th to actually celebrate Christmas, it being a whole season after all, so something has to be done intentionally each day to feel the joy at the heart of it!

So I caved in the name of capitalism and got an Advent Calendar.


The question is what did I fill it with? To say this particular train is lacking passengers is completely accurate. I asked the older two gremlins and they shrugged (because it is their default expression these days). I asked the husband and he did the “ok cool, whatever you want to put, do your thing” thing. I asked the last one he yelled CANDY!!! to which I responded CANDY IS NOT MEANINGFUL!!!!! (and then he shouted back YES IT IS! I LOVE IT!) putting us right back to square one.

After much deliberation (with myself) I finally decided on Christmas movies. I wrote twenty-four Christmas movie classics, cut them out, put them in a box and then the last gremlin filled in the calendar randomly with the slips of paper.


Now you might think that I could have added treats or playtime activities but no because 1) they all have two whoooole snack baskets in the kitchen at their disposal and 2) playtime is relative to only what the youngest gremlin feels like doing and remember ah still hadda put away meh house. Movies at night however is always a win.

#gremlin3 fixing up

How is it going? Well only the youngest and I have held it up and I am cool with that. The others will fall in eventually as we get nearer. We conquered Elf and A Christmas Story so far, ate Pringles and discussed why spaghetti and maple syrup would not make a great meal. Life lessons in .

Do you have an Advent Calendar? What are some of the items you put in it? I’d love to hear in the comments!




**paint, clean, polish, mop, clean windows, hang up curtains, bake ham etc.