I Don’t Feel Like Blogging Anymore

…sometimes…

If the Twitterverse is any measure, this is a chorus that is getting louder so permit me to join in before it becomes a total cacophony (I sing alto).

I have been a blogger since 2014. That year I pinched my nose and dived into expressing myself publicly mainly because it was a gnawing idea and I was encouraged to share my unique perspective (that as far as I’ve seen) had never been done before. Blogging was a wonderful outlet which allowed me to reveal myself and my thoughts to take up a little space in the world.

Even though my blog posts could stand to be a little more frequent (I have only written 135 of them), I’m proud to be part of the blogosphere and that I’ve put my writing out there and I’m especially happy for the connections I’ve made and all the people who have taken the time to click and read.

These days however, sometimes I feel like powering down.

Why?

Life Gets in the Way

As the name of my blog suggests, my life is such that I’m in the middle of every damn thing. I have a 16 year old, 13 year old and 6 year old and my plate is filled trying to navigate the three of them with some sense of normalcy. In any given work week I (try to) teach a foreign language to over 100 of the nation’s teenagers who learn at different levels therefore I manage the challenges that come with that. I am also a wife trying to keep a marriage alive and prioritizing the associated duties of family life, trying to stay healthy and sane, being social, maintaining good skin, drinking water and minding my business. There are many topics jotted on paper and filed in my brain, from both considered perspectives and lightbulb moments but lawdddd, the time to sit and express it adequately…Wordpress remains ignored.

Writing into a Void

I’ve never been one to write for an audience, the truth is I don’t even think I have ‘a niche audience’ pinned down. Many of you are WordPress bloggers new to a Trinidadian perspective while some of you have been sent here via connection through my social media which has been good in terms of raising my profile. I welcome all of you who read, peruse, ‘like’ and engage with what I’ve written. The feedback doesn’t happen all the time especially from a wider Trinbagonian audience, the visits and views can be abysmal and I would be lying if I said that this hasn’t caused me to ponder the worth of it all. Although this isn’t the sole purpose of writing, it can be very demotivating. This feeling doesn’t last too long with me but it is still a feeling to recognize and validate.

The “Extras”

In 2014 I had no clue about the extra stuff in terms of getting my blog posts to be ‘seen’. If you are a blogger now, not only is what you write important but how you write it, keeping the extra stuff at the forefront of your mind. So monitoring your SEO (search rankings), managing posting times, creating links and backlinks, cleaning up your previous links, optimizing your photos, maximizing your stats, tying in and keeping up with your linked social media, engaging and maintaining your follower count….all of this for your work to ‘matter’. Trust me I understand the ‘why’ behind it all but lemme just write nah…

…it would be a thing of glory.

One More Thing

We live in a time where visuals have higher precedence than words. One only has to look at the battle of the top giants Instagram and Tik Tok with the world of doom-scrolling, content creators and influencers while Twitter hosts bloggers who battle ‘writer’s lifts’ and ‘pin for pins’ to rack up followers and readers. There has even been some discussion on how to tie in the visual platforms to our writing to get views our way. Honestly, I find this to be a lot (read: too much) to deal with.

These are just my immediate thoughts on why (sometimes!) I don’t feel like blogging anymore. It doesn’t mean that I am ready to follow through and fold up but I felt it important to acknowledge and maybe identify reasons as to why you may have noticed that I haven’t posted in a while. I’m sure some of you who are bloggers have felt the same way at one point or another. Please feel free to express in the comment section below, I would really like to hear your views on the matter even if they diverge. Feel free to also follow me via joining my email list, like and share this post as well to fellow bloggers!

Blessings

TMIDM

Bring de cake!

Happy New Year! Feliz Año Nuevo! Bonne Année! Xīnnián hǎo!

(Google helped me with my Mandarin…)

I feel like I can still send you good tidings even if we are still in the 9th month of January and while it may feel old (especially fuh we who crawling to payday), the year is still basically new. Hell, some people are still writing 2021 for the date, ah could bet meh last struggling Christmas snacks on dat.

I have long given up on the idea of New Year’s Resolutions and if there is anything the last two years of ‘WTF’ have taught us, it is to just be resolute in living every day. So for this new year, much like 2021 (especially when we thought the ‘rona would disappear at midnight and we would return to normalcy), I am keeping my aspirations very measured and I am trying to live my best life one day at a time. As a matter of fact, I have taken up the hashtag #bringthecake stolen without remorse from a recent release from Mary J. Blige who is my aunty/godmother even if she doesn’t know it yet. #bringthecake is a reminder to me to live everyday like it’s your birthday (much like the song which I have on endless repeat). Life is short and rather than live in anticipation of the next big thing, I choose to regard the small victories, day by day.

Now this may not be your recipe, some people are still throwing their line, aiming far to reel in the big goals while others are experiencing ‘failure to launch’, not sure of the what or the how or the why, still shell-shocked from 2021. I regard both positions and to me, they are both acceptable as I am a very strong advocate for ‘do what works for you’.

My 2022 hashtag goes well with my 2022 quote which is again stolen without remorse from Carl Jung, a Swiss theorist I studied many blood moons ago but whose words will be relevant for me this year:

Jung Inspirational Quotes Vision. QuotesGram
A whole Tedtalk in a couple ah lines

I don’t know if it is a thing with being in your forties (and those in the later forties feel free to let me know in the comments please) but suddenly I feel very purposeful with being self-aware and what genuinely connects me to me, as though it is now THE THING that matters. I feel like it is not a new journey but a new type of discovery I am yet to undergo. One thing for sure is that I have made it a definite priority to remain focused on celebrating the person who is going to grow from it all. Sounding good?

Aye, do me a favour and remind me of this whenever I say that my work/gremlinz/husband/plants/students/Trinidad society in general are driving me blasted insane. Feel free to send some damn cake! Ah will appreciate dat.

Bless

TMIDM

P.S. I also have a word for 2022, check it out here and of course lemme know what you picked for your word, quote, mantra or hashtag for 2022 in the comments below!

A Christmas Triggered (Blogmas #9)

I have been very positive in my expressions for Christmas holidays but even with my happy thoughts, words and vibes, at the back of my mind I still hold all the people triggered by Christmas for various reasons, who see it as a hurdle that they need to get over. The fact remains that for some the Christmas season is one that they need to come and go expeditiously.

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

We know that it is a time for family but the reality is that some are quite alone with no-one to celebrate with and no-one to consider celebrating it with. This time of the year creates a heightened anxiety and wreaks havoc on the emotions as some go through the entire spectrum. There are also others who live with family members but who are also quite alone gearing up to put down a pretense worthy of Oscar nomination. Christmas is nothing joyous or festive in these cases and most are just trying to hold it together.

There are those among us that see this time as one of waste, a time to spend money that isn’t available and a ‘celebration’ of over work just for one day. The meaning of Christmas is lost behind the heavy commercialization so this viewpoint is fair (with maybe Valentine’s Day running a very close second). For many it is a great financial challenge that clouds any reason to celebrate as one would like so Christmas becomes more stress than anything else. This rings true especially for those who would have lost their jobs during the paralytic* and even more so for those with little mouths to feed.

I spare thoughts also for those who would have lost loved ones during this time. The Christmas season is triggering and painful when you lose someone close to you especially in mysterious cases, health matters or violent circumstance. The holiday becomes a yearly reminder of that pain with accompanying memories to rehash year after year. As we continue to deal with the ‘rona, some of us have loved ones who heralded 2021 but didn’t make it to Christmas 2021 and even more heartbreaking is that by the time that this post is published, even more will fall victim to the virus indeed even on Christmas Day itself. These covidious times are merciless with no apologies and no consideration of holidays.

The joyful Christmas feeling is close to or completely non-existent and in some cases may never be again and we must be kind in our approach to those going through it and try not to force ‘the bright side’ of festivity down their throats. Do you agree or no? Let me know in the comments.

Bless

TMIDM

*pandemic