A very Trini post here, so my non-Trinis bear with me. There are clickables for context to help you along.

For those so inclined there is an itch going around that is not being sufficiently scratched resulting in Trinbagonian people bawling for a reprieve. When the announcement came that Carnival was cancelled this year and we would have to fend for ourselves (and I say ‘we’ because I am also part of the throng), nobody knew what this virtual ‘Carnivale Anno Covidi’ would look like. Thus far with the pivot we have seen virtual concerts/fetes/’fetecerts’, Instagram parties, Facebook events, carnival workshops/webinars, small backyard jams, music and comedy online platforms, heartbreaking music videos and soon a movie and an artificial reality feteing experience all from the safety of our seats (not a jump, wave or wine anywhere to be seen). Meh…I guess, something is better than nothing but with all of this niceness covered, guess what? Ah still home and ah still itchy over here dammit!!!

I don’t usually feel craven but trust me, my mind and my body knows that something is wrong. We are smack dab in what would have been the middle of it, the weekend before Carnival week. Soca on my radio hyped me all the way up today and this now feels so off as unbelievably I haven’t done any of the following as yet (in random order):

1. Stare at different angles of pictures of my Carnival costume trying to get that theme right in my head with makeup and accessories.

2. Map out outfits, makeup and hair for all the carded fetes.

3. Download the Ticket Federation Carnival Calendar on both laptop and phone and study it like exam prep, trying to create a reasonable balance between sufficient categories of fete exposure and parental responsibility (and if you have to rely on grandma to babysit, you KNOW this particular struggle).

4. Lock and load up the credit card with Carnival funds to buy most if not all my fete tickets online in one go. No time to visit outlets and wonder if they still have any remaining.

5. Feel the pulse of the Queens Park Savannah-Cipriani Boulevard-Ariapita Avenue-Tragarete Road-St. Clair Road ‘circle’ (square?🤔) during the season.

6. Wash my cooler and resurrect the plastic bottles including my cup that lights up neon because that is essential in a cooler fete.

7. Obsess with my mas playing crew about our costumes and Monday wear in particular (see #1 above).

8. Wonder (in pain) if my personal trainer arose from the furnace of hell to torment me yet appreciate the work he puts in for the gaiiiiiins.

9. Swallow copious amounts of immune boosters…vitamin C times zinc times coconut water times echinacea and then some Hemarexin in the mix. (Don’t try this at home).

10. Buy two pairs of carnival tights in Micles.

11. Buy glitter, gems and the ‘fete amount’ of false lashes in Wonderful World (but with my shamefully recent discovery of lash extensions, this isn’t likely to return).

12. Debate the boots vs sneakers quandry in my head.

13. Pray that my costume collection day is not on Carnival Friday. (Frenzy and traffic…never a good combo).

14. Not sleep after a fete, bathe, head straight to work, take a half day to go back home to sleep and then wake up and pick up the gremlinz from school. True story. Many times.

15. Take close to 24 hours to style my hair in braids because as long as there is a YouTube video showing me how to do it, I’m doing it.

16. Feel the intensity of being a Trini while being at Pan Semis.

17. Load up the soca music playlist to play ad nauseum in the car.

18. Cut up my jerseys in fancy styles in preparation for Jouvert and wondering which of my sneakers are old enough to take the disrespect.

19. Eat like a rabbit.

20. Figure out the Road March in advance (This blessed 2021 it’s a toss-up between Carnival Tabanca by Bunji Garlin and Long Time by Arrow).

Sigh…I made it to twenty, I could go on, but I want to cry. (Finding those links didn’t help either).

Initially I told myself I could cope; I’ve sat out Carnival before but not realizing that even though I did that, I have never fully SAT OUT of Carnival, I have always attended some kinda filler. As the time draws near to the dates that would have been, there is a growing feeling of discontent inside me and of course wehhhhh…..

As is the saying, Carnival 2022 will be a movie as long as Ms. Rona gets the hell out of dodge and vaccines are in wide supply. I cannot wait, but in the mean time let me hol’ ah burn with a virtual jam yes….pass the Calendar….

Blessings

TMIDM