When gremlinz 1 and 2 were younger and gremlin 3 didn’t exist as yet, they made it a glorious habit to bother me as soon as I walked in the bathroom and close the door. Every mother has gone through this at least 47 ¾ times and it is one of the most IRRITATING things about being a mother (and without apology I say MOTHER because when father is dawdling the bathroom, Jah know dem children not bothering him!). So while I was either enthroned or in the shower and pressed with the “Mummyyyyy?!”, I used to shout right back: “Aye, yuh dead? Yuh broken? Yuh bleeding? Anything on fire? If no, wait until I done fuh meh please!!!”. Naturally they eventually took this as a joke and turned it into a game just to hear me say those four lines and run off laughing.
Gremlin3 eventually entered the chat and as is the norm, he does things in his own way. So he would literally yell MUMMYYY!! WHERE ARE YOU?? right…outside…the bathroom door while I’m inside like…
And then he would run off.
Here’s the plot twist though. The interruptions are getting less and less now, thank God, but I am yet to find a moment’s peace in the shower. The outward interruptions are now replaced with inward discourse and I’m really starting to wonder and cautiously accept that clearly, I do my deepest thinking in the bathroom, specifically in the shower (however, I don’t hold lengthy devotions on the throne, not my style). My brain seems to operate on another level. For instance, I can go from wondering if my breakfast should be more sweet or savoury to ranking Will Smith movies to thinking about one random student I taught years ago to pondering on whether I would make a decent nun (answer: no).
I try to be mindful in the moment during my baths especially during a super-sized self-care session of wash day and removing body hair and dead skin cells, but my brain won’t let me be zen. Some people can be present and enjoy the experience of a long, luxurious bath. Me? I imagine the synapses firing away while I’m internally debating how wet is too wet for a pelau or revisiting/reimagining difficult conversations with certain people. The latter is the worst. That train of thought could send me into a spiral so much so that when I’m towelling off, I tend to wonder if I need to go and talk to a professional.
Now it’s not all negative though eh. Sometimes during those times when I’m alone I get blog ideas, meal ideas, random jokes, new goals or songs from Hamilton stuck in my head (fun fact: much like the album the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, the Hamilton soundtrack will stay in your brain for ever…and ever….and ever and ever and everrrrrrrrr……if you know, you know). They say inspiration will hit you where you least expect it. For me, my mind powers up in a steady stream of consciousness at that particular time when I am alone, so I don’t know how unexpected that is anymore. Technically, I’m not really alone either and may never be. That being said, I still get the occasional MUMMYYYYY!!! to snap me back to reality when I all I really want to do is take a shower in peace. Is this weird, strange or even spiritual? I’m curious to know. Where or when do you easily do your deepest thinking? Let me know in the comments below or head to my Instagram page and click follow for more content: https://www.instagram.com/trinimom_indmiddle/