I see you

To:

the woman who feels she is never enough,

the woman who feels she does too much,

the woman who plods along to keep it running,

the woman who pauses to breathe before the choke comes,

the woman who decides to say “Fuck It”,

the woman who decides to try for the millionth time,

the woman who practises that smile before unleashing it,

the woman who blots the tears before they roll down,

the woman whose children see the brave face more than the real face,

the woman who decided that #selfcare is a beautiful thing,

the woman who values her solitude,

the woman who values her friendships,

the woman who values herself,

the woman who is the early bird,

the woman who is the night owl,

the woman who anticipates the worst,

the woman who hopes for the best,

the woman whose routine stifles her,

the woman who found her outlet,

the woman who is chastised for going against the norm,

the woman who is fine just being okay,

the woman who makes her decisions and sticks to them,

the woman who is afraid to jump,

the woman whose mind has several tabs open,

the woman who can drain her mind,

the woman who knows what love is and feels it,

the woman who doesn’t feel love and she knows it,

I see you.

TMIDM

 

 

The Strength To Go On

It’s been a while!

I’m not going to detail reasons why or why not as most ‘return-after-a-long-hiatus’ posts tend to do, but it is safe to say that I am alive and extremely grateful for the dawn of a new year. The tail end of 2018 proved very difficult for me in the sense that I lost the balance I always maintain is essential for working mothers to survive. I was closing the year operating on fumes, in a stasis of ‘whatever’ but clawing towards the Christmas vacation period, desperate to power down.

Now that the vacation is over and a new academic term awaits me from tomorrow, in the spirit of this reflective time of year, I have adequately prepared myself to start 2019 in a way that would restore the balance that is critical for me. I don’t think that I am alone in this regard as all over my social media the hashtag #selfcare features prominently (Ladies, how did it get so bad that we needed to hashtag it? You know one of the main rules of social media is that it bears no importance if one does not create a hashtag). I don’t know how it got to this but when I sat and did some mindful meditation of my physical, psychological, professional, emotional, spiritual, personal and professional state, my mental health was rapidly deteriorating and, in some cases, completely deteriorated.

self-care-wheel-1

New Year’s Resolutions are not usually a thing for me. Disappointment tends to lurk in the shadows. However, this year I don’t think I have made resolutions per se, but I have given myself specific activities/’checklist points’ to ensure that my wheel remains evenly divided so I don’t end up frazzled, frustrated and feeling like a shadow of myself, intensely dark and always behind everyone and everything. It’s a work in progress but progress Is key.

I hope this new year brings joy, favour and peace to all of you!

Blessings!

TMIDM